The Yat (One) and Only Journey

Monday, 10 April, 2006

Social Illness – Part 1

Filed under: Parody & Funny, Thoughts — Yatz @ 3:18 am

We are talking about one of the major social illness here..

Not old stuffs like drug addicts/pusher, prostitution, illegal motor-racing, etc..

The one we will talking here is far more trendy and hip at the time being..

I’ll talk about La-La (clam) in this entry..

As we all know, La-La means clam in Cantonese..La-La, most of the time are referred to a type of food whether it is steamed, boiled, or fried..

But nowadays, La-La has a different meaning in our society..Needless to say, most Chinese knew something about La-La..

It is referred to a mushrooming culture, called La-La..This culture is similar to other trendy culture communities like gothic, punk, hip-hop, etc..

What is so great about this La-La.?? Unfortunately, for us old school or simple-minded fashion-followers, La-La is a disease, and it is mushrooming everywhere in town..

You’ll get to see La-La anywhere and everywhere..To make it even more simple, some referred La-La to Ah Beng for guys and Ah Lian for girls..Generally, they are called La-La..

La-Las favourite hang-out spots have to be shopping plazas like Sungei Wang Plaza and Berjaya Times Square..They are now trying to invade Midvalley Megamall as well..

Averagely, for every 10 steps in Sungei Wang Plaza or Berjaya Times Square, you’ll come upon La-La, be it standalones, couples, or groups..

The Requirements To Be A La-La – The Guys

  1. First of all, your pants..Your pants must be either a pair of slacks or jeans..Your pants have to be bell-bottoms.. Not a normal bell-bottom, but the end of the pant leg has to cover-up at least 90% of your foot..Thus, only your toes can be seen..

    If it’s a pair of jeans, it has to be a little bit of shiny sand-like reflection effects..The design of the jeans are usually tailored..

    Patches of color mixtures can be seen on the jeans a.k.a Melbourne Shuffle pants..e.g glow in the dark green, glow in the dark orange, white..

    Not to forget..They usually use white PVC/leather belt on their dark/black/brown slacks..

  2. Secondly, your shirts have to be as tight and small-sized as possible..It can be T-shirts, shirts, jackets, or zip-fly shirts.. A T-shirt has to be as tight as it can..T-shirts with super short sleeves are recommended..

    Where as for shirts, zip-fly shirts, or thin-cotton jackets, it has to be tight, too..And the sleeves have to be mid-long (neither long nor short), where the end part of the sleeves have to either, at least reach your elbow, or just slightly surpass below your elbow..

    Full-length cover-up for the buttons or zip-fly are STRICTLY not-advisable..

    Leave it half-way buttoned or zipped, shows a little bit of cleavage-kinda-look, be it you have the chest muscle, cholesteroled breast, or just flat with ribs clearly seen..

    Their fashion line are usually courtesy of Sub, Romp, Shibuya, Cantona7, or cheap local-made brand which are vastly available at Sungei Wang and Times Square..

  3. Their body features..La-La is not restricted only to thin people..There are fat-asses too.. Usually the thin guys are like drug addicts..And the fat-asses are fat-asses..

    Their skin are usually dark-colored..I too, concluded that a massive 98% of the La-Las are neither handsome nor cute..

  4. Next, is your hair-do..You have to dye or highlight your hair with the color of metallic gold, or with variety mixtures of colors, e.g – green, white, blue, red, silver, grey.. Most La-La hairstyle are usually spiky, like a durian or a porcupine..It is so spiky that they might attacked you with they foul-smell-oily head..

    You may also go with a bland-look such as uncombed short hair, with a tail at the back..Do take note that it’s just merely a tail, not a long hair like mine..

    Usually the tail’s color will be different from the rest of the head..Such as black hair with golden tail, or blue hair with gold-red mixture tail..

    If you don’t like the tail-look..You can go for other styles as well, such as shaved on either side or you head then spiky hair on the other side..

    Some came out with long hair, slightly like mine but a lot shorter (above shoulder length), which makes them look untidy and messy..

  5. Let’s move on to the feet..With their bell-bottom pants, they wouldn’t wear a pair of shoes..They preffered colourful flip-flops or leather sandals.. I really have no f*cking idea why they wear it like that..More comfortable.? YUCKS~!! There’s no way I’m gonna wear a long pants with sandals or flip-flops wandering around shopping complexes or plazas..
  6. Smokers..Most of the guys are smokers, and the way they hold the cigaratte are 1 of a kind..It’s really annoying, but they thought it makes them look stylish and sexy *puke*
  7. How bout attitudes.?? They’ll purposedly talk loudly to each other or do some unusual exaggerated body movements..Maybe they want to get other people’s attention..
  8. Hobbies.?? They like to play arcade games..Most of the time they’ll crowd “Dancing Machine”, “DJ Turntable Machine”, “Arcade-style O2Jam”, and Daytona..There are times they’ll go for snooker, bowling, or Redbox/Neway karaoke.. Or the most weird hobby ever, squating (lepak) at the main entrance of any of the places I’ve stated above, holding their cigars or bullshitting around..
  9. Background – Most of them are school drop-outs..Speak Mandarin or Cantonese (Hokkien and Hakka could be found in other states like Penang, Kedah, and Johor).. Most of them are English illiterate, or just a mere English understanding..
  10. Jobs – Pirated CD/VCD/DVD vendors (Low Yat, Sungei Wang, Petaling Street, night market), cheap-boutique/Petaling Street sales assistant/promoter a.k.a seller, mobile phone booth caretaker, and gangster a.k.a triad member..

I think that’s all for the guy’s part..I’ll continue with the girl’s part next day maybe..My body kinda worn out now..Need to have a good rest..


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