The Yat (One) and Only Journey

Friday, 14 April, 2006

Social Illness – Part 2

Filed under: Parody & Funny, Thoughts — Yatz @ 1:40 pm

Let’s start off from where we left in Part 1..We’ll talk about the girl’s part..

Before I start with my discussion..I, 200% fully-agree with Weng Soon‘s argument about Temperament..

Without temperament, oneself wouldn’t be a La-La or anything else..e.g terrorist, prostitute, or the king of the world..

Honestly, I myself, used to dress ala La-La style, too..But frankly, I didn’t know anything about La-La at that time being..So, sorry for being so infashionable..

I do mean I have the certain criterias that I mentioned in Part 1, and I didn’t realized it until I read about temperament..

Although I dressed ala La-La style (small-sized shirts, damn spiky hair-do, shiny bell-bottom pants) at THAT time (like 4 years ago), I guessed my friends didn’t treat me as a La-La..

Or maybe they did, just that I didn’t noticed it..Whatever, then WAS then, now IS now..I’m brand new now, still sticking with little bit of old school though..

When I recall how I looked like during those days, I feel disgusted now..YUCKS~!! What in the world happened to me back then.??

So, that’s what temperament all about..I guess I don’t owned a La-La personality..That’s a good thing =P

Ok, let’s discuss about Ah Lians..Not much difference from the guys’ though..Now we’ll start it from head to toe..

The GENERAL Requirements To Be A La-La – The Girls (Ah Lian)

  1. The hair-do – Dyed or highlighted with metallic gold or rainbow colors, almost the same as the guys..But ofcoz, they don’t do the spiky stuff.. Most of their hair are long and straight, or curly..Just imagine you have long hair, about the length til your chest, the whole thing of it was dyed into metallic gold or any other colors..EEWWW~!!
  2. The shirts – You can try out spagethi straps for a start..Possibly a low-cut ones, with a push-up bra.. Ok..You are not that OPEN yet in fashion..Forget about the low-cuts and push-ups, wear a tube inside your spagethi..It has to be of different colors for both in and out..

    After about few weeks and you are confirmed about your La-Laness, just go on with tube instead, it’s easy to wear on and to take off as well..No more hassle with double layer clothing..

    Tubes or spagethis are preferably blacks, on the outside..But also bear in your mind, if you are wearing white on the outside..Your BRA has to be black or red, or any bright colors that you can think of..

  3. The pants – Bell-bottoms, usually blue jeans, with shiny beads all over the legs with patterns of butterflies, flowers, words, etc.. Low-waist cut jeans, and make sure to wear your red lace thong or super-low-waist-cut-undies, to show-off how disgusting your butt crack is..
  4. The skirts – Other than pants, the girls have another choice for the lower body, skirts..The nice apparel for voyeurism..Muahahaha.. As a La-La, buy a super-micro-mini-tight-jeans skirt..Yeah..As tight as you need to pull your skirt for every 10 steps of walking..

    If you think you can’t breathe with a super tight mini-skirt, just put on a ruffled skirt and ofcoz, as short as can be..Preferably just slightly cover up any sights of your panties..

    I have to say they are very professional in wearing these super-short-skirts..You can’t peep on anything down below, when they are on the escalators, stairs, or on higher ground..

  5. You walk the walk – Walk as rude as a female can be, I mean, not too rude alright.? Try to walk with spreading your upper thighs slightly apart.. In Cantonese we called it Mahk Giok (Spread Legs), that usually signifies the female-being alredy lost her virginity, and she’s been doing it quite regurlarly that she couldn’t close her upper thighs and walk femininely..Yeah, you got that right, that’s what you thinking..Haha..

    Oh oh..Not to forget these figure..The ‘S’ figure..You know, push out your boobs, high-up your ass, and squeeze-in your abdomen..

  6. The shoes – Either sandals/shoes with a sponge-like bottom sole, or super high heels, that you could feel their tiredness to balance their walks.. Why you have to choose these kind of shoes.? To make you look taller and higher ofcoz..You know, Asians are short compared to the Caucasians..

    They are so Western and Japs wannabe..But the fact is, most of them are English illiterate..All they could speak is just Mandarin, or a little bit sense of higher level, Cantonese, or maybe Malay, or little bit of ‘Yes’, ‘No’, ‘Ok’, and ‘Fuck’..

  7. Accessories – Big or complex earrings..Some were trying out non-powered-color contact lenses, to make them look even more like a Caucasian.. Lots of metal bracelets, colourful rings and dull color of fingernails (black, dark purple, dark green, dark blue, etc)..The same goes to the toenails..
  8. Smokers – Most of them are smokers, I do mean the genuine Ah Lians..Put Ah Lian-wannabes aside, they don’t smoke..
  9. Attitudes (When you talk the talk) – Trying to be OPEN-MINDED and mixed with lots of La-La guys (Ah Bengs) is actually not a bad thing, you are socially active.. But how about talk out loud as if the Ah Bengs in the opposite building can’t hear your voice..Not to mention vulgar words being thrown out from their mouth like nobody’s business..

    The famous quote, “Ko lei diu ngo lah.!!” as in “Come and fuck me-lah” in Cantonese..These quote is not easily thrown out to any person, only if they are in a acting-heated-up-argument with the La-La guys..

  10. Hobbies.?? Wandering around arcade centres and spying on guy La-Las playing their favourite games..
  11. Background – same as the guys, mostly school drop-outs..So if you want to be a La-La, make sure you quit schooling at the age of between 13-16 year-old..
  12. Jobs – Sidekick of the Pirated CD/VCD/DVD guy La-La vendors a.k.a girlfriend, caretaker of accessories booth (vastly found in Sungei Wang), prostitute, cheap-boutique sales assistant, lousy hair salon hairstylist..

Those mentioned above are just GENERAL requirements of the girl La-Las, the most easy-to-identify features of an Ah Lian..

There are heaps of Ah Lians with some fashion sense, too..They try out Gothic Lolita, which makes them looked prettier and cuter at the same time (at least that’s what they thought)..

Some of these Gothic Lolita fashion-followers are just having fun with their style and not La-La at all..It’s hard to differentiate at times..

Like Weng Soon said, the keyword is temperament..You’ll know when you see one with whatever outfit it is..

When he/she walks the walk and talks the talk, you’ll know that he/she is the one that you are NOT looking for..


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